Ruminations

News stories abound with speculations and pronouncements surrounding the sudden passing of former Armed Forces of the Philippines Chief Angelo Reyes. Shock, surprise, anger, sadness, stoicism, ambivalence -- people will inevitably be polarized over what this means for the current investigation on alleged corruption in the AFP.

I am not here though to speculate on whether his death means an admission of guilt or a last stand for his innocence. Things are already muddled enough as it is. I write to ponder on what could have driven this man, with an illustrious career behind him, to to commit this final act of desperation (if indeed he did, which is another theory altogether again).

I cannot even begin to fathom the maelstrom of emotions that he must have been feeling the last few weeks, leading to his final moments in front of the grave of his mother. Whether he was guilty or innocent is not the question I have at this point. Sure, he was in the midst of a raging controversy, one that cut across the highest echelons of power in the country.

But in the end, he was just one man. One whose death left behind a grieving family and saddened friends. Not to mention countless questions that he alone may have had the answers to.

I find myself thinking that in the end, whatever wealth you may have amassed, or power you may have built, all these fade into the shadows when your name, your reputation and your family are put at risk.

In the last moments of one's life, does anybody express regret that he missed out on that one crucial investment, or did not become the CEO of a top-performing company?

In the end, each of us -- the most complex creations -- is stripped away to the barest essentials. In the end, each of us is just a man, who will face the Creator in his own way, and made to account for his life on earth.

I am thankful for the gift of life, and family, and love.

Of Weekends and Sine Curves

If working people around the world share the TGIF sentiment at the end of the (usual-for-most-countries) workweek, what is the equivalent expression for Mondays? WTHIM (What the heck, it's Monday)?

I've always envisioned the general mood across the working week to be like the sine curve. Yes, the math geek in me is rearing its head, I know. Back to the sine curve: after cresting on Saturday, when people let their hair down, party, relax, feast, detox, or simply vegetate, the mood slowly but surely creeps into a downward trend, reaching the trough at around Wednesday. After this the weekend comes into sight once more, bringing a lighter mood that becomes positively buoyant by Friday. And so the cycle repeats itself.

Hmm. I never knew that the sine wave could be applied to psychological observations.

I am not yet on the downward spiral even though it is Sunday night and tomorrow is another workweek. It helped that I got to satisfy my bookshop fix today -- I was finally able to visit Powerbooks after about a month and a half (yes, that IS a long time for me), and was able to lug home a substantial haul. Hurray for new books!

It was a family excursion to the mall, and I am ever so grateful to the hubby for shepherding the two little girls around the bookshop to let me have some scouring-around-the-shelves time. I was able to comb through the aisles to my heart's content.

Through the drives to and from the mall, we were so worried that the toddler would have an attack of motion sickness. Hurray, hurray! For the first time she did not spew inside the car! We were all so relieved.

It was a tiring, but eminently quite satisfying day, after all.

Thankful

I am thankful that tomorrow will be a Friday -- rest time!

I am thankful that our older daughter tried her darndest best to get her baby sister out of a funk -- and succeeded in making her chortle!

I am thankful for a patient and loving husband, who knows me enough to let me have my own quiet time.

I am thankful that even in a day full of meetings and issues, there was still time to laugh.

I am thankful for having had a life full of blessings.