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In truth however, SAHMs may just as be likely to give the kids store-bought cupcakes, chips and soda, as anybody else. Dozens of Halloween costumes can be bought anywhere, so why tire yourself out needlessly? School bus service is available to ferry the kids to school and back, and attendance to school activities is tiring enough without having to devote numerous days arranging them as well. And SAHMs have numerous interests as well, but may not have the opportunity, time, energy, or resources to pursue them.
As for the working mothers out there, there is no small amount of pride in being able to juggle a demanding profession with motherhood. Doctors, engineers, lawyers, architects, writers -- there will always be females in these fields who choose to return to work full-time after giving birth. Are they to be taken as less-than-perfect then, for choosing to nurture their professions in parallel with nurturing their brood? Although working moms -- full-timers or part-timers -- may seem to exemplify "having it all", there may still be a nagging feeling of being... conflicted.
How so? Consider:
The dividing line, although invisible, is a strong one, pressuring one into taking sides: who's the better mother, the abler provider? The SAHM may resent the working mother because she is pursuing her dreams and is professionally established and has a disposable income of her own. On the other hand, the working mom may be frustrated and jealous of the mother who stays home with the kids, simply because the latter has the time and presence that the former is unable to give because she is in the office all day.
But is that line really necessary? Does being a working mother mean one loves her children less? Does being a SAHM mean one should be taken less seriously than those who work?
I am a working mother myself, a chemical engineer who has worked from the time she graduated from university, with the exception of two counts of maternity leave. At this moment, my decision to pursue a career feels right to me. I am happy with using my talents and my skills in the professional world. I feel all the more fulfilled coming home at night knowing that I have done my best at work, and am now about to spend time at home to unwind with my family. I believe that I am a better mother because of it.
During my maternity leave a couple of months ago though, I experienced what it means to be a SAHM -- and it gave me a new perspective. It is not easy at all. Far from it. A SAHM needs to have a serious skill in multitasking, not to mention a deeper well of patience. I had this notion that I would just have endless lazy days reading and lounging around during my leave. Boy, was I proven wrong! And to think that my leave coincided with the summer school break, at that!
I have a lot of respect for stay-at-home moms. I have a lot of respect for working mothers. I have a lot of respect for those who work form home.
Whatever our choices, we make them in light of what we believe is best for our family at that time, in those specific sets of circumstances. We manifest our love for our children and our husbands and families in varying ways.
Whether we work or stay at home, whether we earn our own keep or keep house, at heart we are all the same.
We are Mothers, and we will always do the best we can.